MERE OBLIVION
Badger died today. Or was it yesterday, I can’t be sure. He was hit by a Nissan Qashqai. That’s what Mole says, though his myopia, which is worse than ever, undoubtedly compromises any eye-witness testimony he might be called upon to give. It was generally agreed that Badger did not suffer – the damage to the car indicated as much. Alas, we were unable to perform the usual funeral rites for him. A passing TV crew spied an opportunity for a spot of ‘gastro-roadkill’ with their on-board celebrity chef, and they had old Badger trussed up on a spit before you could say endangered species.